From True Love To Just Friends

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We met at Nescafe!!. And our love greww in CCD..!!
Its been a decade now. I was in love with her and still i am. I used to stay awake for the whole night. With her, sleep was just a dream. In the begning our relationship was strong. She would help me in every pursit. She would help me concentrate and keep me motivated for long time. It was due to her i wrote a lot of stories, poems. She was my creative muse. She was the one who was with me thru thick n thin…

But at times she was black, like a dark black hole. She wouldnt let me sleep despite my wish. I went through Paranoia and anxiety becuase of her and.even hallucination when i was at the peak of our relationship. But still i always kept her, a special place in my life.

And then one day we had a massive breakup.. It was me.. I had to move away from her.. I was addicted to her.. So much that couldnt concentrate or study or write.. I felt like without her i am just a snob, a good for nuthin.. So i left her. We grew apart. In the begning it was twice a day contact then it slimmed down to once a three day.

And now we are just good friends.

Thats the reason i started having an affair with TEA now.. I dumped COFFEE..
– my lovestory with coffee..

©fidoic
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Confessions of a Teenage Widow

………………..1………………….  download (2)

It’s illegal, they say, to marry at 16. But I have. And it’s been a year since. My husband was 31 then. I was still in my class 10th. I loved to go to my school every day. It was fun. I loved to study and to play with my friends. I loved to walk to my school in the morning and I loved to hitch-hike in the evening when the sun was all powerful. And I loved the sounds of the engines that we saw while coming back from the school. And I loved a dozen other things. And then I had to marry.

And then I was sad! They told me I have to marry that one person, rich and handsome, living in big place where there are lots of shops like in T.V., lots of teddy bears to play and chocolates to eat and lots friends to play with. They told me I will keep going to a new and big school, and I won’t have to walk, a bus will come and take me to school and it will also bring me back from the school and leave me back home. And they told me a dozen other things also. And then I had to marry.

And then I was happy!  I went to the school the other day and told my friends that I am going to marry and they told me it a nice thing to marry. They told me I can have a lot of things then. They told me I can leave the boring study and stay at home like a big women. They told me that I can be like my mother and give the orders to all and they told me that I can get little and sweet babies, cute like kittens, and play with them all day long. They told me I will look more beautiful and grown up, they told me I will get more flesh at my chest and look like heroines. They also told me I will be like a queen and rule. And they told me a dozen other things also. And then I had to marry.

And then I was happy! Then there were other friends also. They told me not to marry it not a nice thing. They told me I have to sacrifice a lot of things. I would have to stay home and won’t be able to go to school like big women. They told me that I would be like my mother and would have to do everything my husband says and they told me I will get little and irritating babies, mischievous like devils, and will have to stand them all day long. They told me I will look more ugly and will grow old, they told me I will get more flesh at my belly and look like grannies. They also told me I will be like a maid and work. And they told me a dozen things also. And then I had to marry.

And then I was sad! But then I was confused and then I went to my mother and then I asked her why I am going to marry. She told me it’s time to marry. There is a lot of money; my husband is a rich person. He will keep me like princess. She told me that in this age a girl should marry. And what is better than to marry a rich man. She told me in these times money is everything. Money makes the merry go round. She told me I will have a lot of money and could buy whatever I want. She told me I will forget everything when I get so much money. And then I had to marry.

And then I was happy! I went to my father and hugged him. I loved him more than mummy and he loved me more. And then I told him I have to marry. And I was happy. But he was not. There were tears in his eyes. He told me it’s not the time to get married. There is just money; no love in this marriage. He told me this is not the age a girl should marry. And it’s not good to marry so rich a person just for money. He told me money is not everything, love is must. Love stands when there is no money. He told me with money I can buy anything, but not happiness. Love can give one the happiness he wants. He told me my mother wants me to marry, not he. And then I had to marry.

And then I married.

…………………..2……….. continued…

coffee?

a few lines from the story….” 1947- an omen”

I asked my wife for a cup of coffee. It was 3 in the morning. She was sitting with me in our bed. She did not ask me what happened. Or why I waked up with a scream? Or why was I sweating? She put the quilt aside, slipped into her slippers and went out of the room. I was still in the bed. Sweating profusely and leaning against the big backrest of the bed.  I closed my eyes and threw my head back on the pillow. I was trying to tell my mind to stop thinking about that incident again and again. It’s been decades now, but that few days of my life still haunt me. My wife emerged back into the room with a tray in her hands. She brought coffee for me. She knew only coffee could calm me in these situations.

©fidoic-2012-2013